


L'appel du vide

by mezzosaka



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Kinda fluffy at the end, M/M, Sad, Vent Writing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-29
Updated: 2017-04-29
Packaged: 2018-10-25 04:36:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10756845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mezzosaka/pseuds/mezzosaka
Summary: It's never quiet.Why can't it get quiet?





	L'appel du vide

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this before the Kanata event because I make tons of assumptions about characters' home lives, and I wanted to post this before all of my ideas are null and void. Also, I wrote this when I was really upset. Cathartic to write.
> 
> Anyway, please enjoy.

Kanata doesn't use his phone often. Mainly because it's usually broken. Climbing into fountains fully clothed does that—anything Kanata forgets to put away just ends up horribly ruined by water damage. Which is a shame. It's a shame that he needs these things, anyway, since fish don't need cell phones or homework or pens or papers. Fish just need water. Fish just need to float, to swim, aimlessly aimlessly through the endless endless ocean until the end of their days.

_[the fish...dying...]_

Kanata wishes he could be like that. He wants to be free.

_[Shinkai Kanata...disgrace...]_

At any rate, he ends up tapping away on his phone. The rest of his unitmates have fallen asleep on the long bus ride. After a day of shooting, he couldn't blame them. Kanata himself can't fall asleep unless he feels safe enough, and being around these strangers—the production crew—doesn't feel safe at all. So playing an aquarium clicker game is good enough for him. It's nothing like his personal aquariums at the school, but they'll do for now.

_[the fish...unwell...dying...your fault...]_

The bus bumps a bit as it starts to cross over a bridge. And Kanata starts to wish he could trade places with Chiaki, who took the window seat. The movement of the bus caused the aforementioned seat thief to shift a bit in his sleep, leaning away from the window, resting his head on Kanata's shoulder.

_[waste of money...Shinkai Kanata...disgrace...]_

He locks his phone. It'd be rude to keep the light shining on Chiaki's face when he's sleeping. Kanata thinks he deserves this rest: after all, Chiaki does so much for their unit as a whole. He's always smiling, always happy, always so so full of energy.

_[the warmth...]_

He keeps the unit focused and smiling just like him. Like today's music video shooting. He had been their shining center, keeping them together, uniting them as each part of a whole. Each member had a place in Ryuseitai, each member was important, each member brought something special and unique to the unit. Chiaki made sure to bring out each member's qualities throughout the video, expertly working with the producers like he'd been doing it his whole life.

_[so warm...it's so warm...]_

The bus jerked again. Chiaki slumped onto Kanata's lap, his peaceful face illuminated by the moonlight reflecting off of everything around them.

_[land...too hot...]_

Chiaki snores, and he ungracefully rubs his nose with the back of his hand. Yes, this is Ryuseitai's dependable leader, Morisawa Chiaki...!!

_[Shinkai Kanata...felt so warm...]_

Morisawa Chiaki, who gave him a place in this school. Morisawa Chiaki, who reignited the flame burning inside of him.

_[cold... so cold...]_

Kanata hated to think about his time before he met Chiaki. Everything was sad then. He didn't really have friends or a unit he truly belonged in. All he had were the fish.

_[the fish...are dying...Shinkai Kanata...]_

He would spend days not talking to anyone, just going to school and sitting in the classroom he kept his fish in. Back then, there weren't many. He used to have more posters of fish than fish themselves. But they were his friends nonetheless...

_[the fish...Shinkai Kanata...dying...]_

His parents weren't even his friends. His parents aren't his friends. Every time he tried to bring home a little bit of happiness, they snatched it from him, crushed it underneath them. They left nothing for him to hold onto. They left nothing for him to hope for.

_[nothing left...the fish...Shinkai Kanata...unwell...]_

He was forced to watch as they destroyed everything he loved. Plushies torn to shreds, aquariums broken, fish flushed down the toilet still alive, cans of fish food thrown onto the beach mere steps from the door to be decoured by the seagulls.

_[Shinkai Kanata... was dying...]_

This bus is too loud.

_[too loud...too loud...too loud...]_

He clutches Chiaki's sleeve. Too far. Too far, as the tears roll down his cheeks and land on Chiaki's. Too far, as Chiaki groggily opens his eyes. Too far, as those bright, bright, shining eyes filled with concern.

_[still alive...]_

"Kanata?"

_[the fish...were still alive...]_

"Kanata, are you okay?"

_[flushed...still alive...]_

"Kanata?!"

_[Shinkai Kanata...]_

Chiaki sits up, grabbing Kanata's shoulder and shaking him until he blinks away the tears that refused to follow the rest, pooling up in his eyes, falling all at once.

_[Shinkai Kanata... is still alive...]_

"What happened?" Chiaki asks, softly as to not wake up any of the other passengers. His hand slowly began to rub Kanata's shoulder as he pulled up his bag with the other. He dug around for a bit before pulling out tissues, trying to press them into Kanata's balled fists.

_[warm...too loud...this bus...too loud...]_

"Chiaki," Kanata says, finally returning to reality. He looks at Chiaki—not at his eyes. His legs. His thighs. Toned, strong under his sweatpants. From running, probably. "It was just a bad 'dream.'"

_[Morisawa Chiaki...]_

"I'm right here," he says. And when Kanata's hands don't move, he wipes Kanata's face himself, tilting it towards him. "Kanata, I'm here. Are you okay?"

_[Morisawa Chiaki...is so warm...]_

Kanata nods. "My 'fish' 'died.'" He places his fallen phone back in his pocket. When had it fallen? "It's 'okay.'"

_[okay...it's okay...okay...]_

"That dream again?" The hand rubbing Kanata's shoulder travels down his arm. It ghosts over Kanata's hand. "It won't happen again. You have us to help you, remember?" He tangles their fingers together. "You have me."

_[Morisawa Chiaki...is the warmth...]_

Kanata can't say anything. He squeezes Chiaki's hand, long and tight. It feels like he's alive again as he closes his eyes, feels his heart start to beat again, feels the airs fill his lungs again and again, feels Chiaki's heat so close to him.

_[melting...melting...]_

It's just like the first time they met when he opens his eyes and meets Chiaki's. There's never been more color. Everything is vibrant; he feels alive.

_[Shinkai Kanata...was so cold...]_

"See?" Chiaki smiles that bright, shining smile. He presses his forehead to Kanata's for a long while, letting their noses brush.

_[the heat...the warmth...melting...]_

When he pulls away, when he finally pulls away, he lets go of Kanata's hand in favor of throwing his arm around him, pulling him closer, pressing their bodies together. "Kanata, you can go back to sleep. This time, I'll stay awake and make sure no nightmares reach you again! I promise!"

_[eyes...slipping closed...so warm...]_

"Kanata?"

_[Shinkai Kanata...]_

"I just want to say... I think I love you..."

_[his heart...]_

"Sleep well."

_[Morisawa Chiaki...was the warmth...melting away...the ice...the ice...residing deep...inside Shinkai Kanata's heart...]_

He did.

_[...]_

This bus...

_[...]_

...is finally quiet...

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading.  
> Twitter is the best way to reach me: @mezzosaka


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